tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455625283347938520.post3182663910965359891..comments2023-10-28T06:41:48.950-07:00Comments on for vienne: Mundane UpdatesFor Viennehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14239370029818098079noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455625283347938520.post-38818660616235005942013-02-18T11:15:40.564-08:002013-02-18T11:15:40.564-08:00Thank you for sharing all of this with me, Susan. ...Thank you for sharing all of this with me, Susan. <br /><br />The part where you wrote about having to come to accept this, which is different from "getting over it" or "being healed" made sense to me. Acceptance ended up being a bit of the theme from last week. I am realizing that that is where I am going to have to get to...maybe I am getting closer than I realize. I realize that there is absolutely NOTHING I can do to bring her back...so I need to accept this burden that I have to carry for the rest of my life.<br /><br />I am rethinking my interest in a counselor, for now. I am looking more into just establishing a relationship with an older prayerful woman who can walk through this with me....someone with compassion and wisdom. I have been set up with someone like that and it is much more appealing to me.<br /><br />Anyway, I will share more on that later. Thank you again for your thoughts and insight.<br /><br />xoFor Viennehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14239370029818098079noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455625283347938520.post-73071389204529178662013-02-14T19:19:35.918-08:002013-02-14T19:19:35.918-08:00First, I want to tell you again how incredibly bea...First, I want to tell you again how incredibly beautiful Vienne is and how I look forward to your posts. I am growing through them and learning more and more how to appreciate everything I have and not focusing on what I don't.<br /><br />I don't always comment but I always read and Madison loves to look at the prictures and the videos but it makes her really sad.<br /><br />I know how hard it is to find the right counselor. I want to share a bit about my experience almost 17 years ago. I know mine was a bit different but it was sudden, so unexpected, the end of the dream that I had taken 35 years to find. The first counselor that I saw was my stepmom's counselor after my stepbrother died. She had also lost her son at a young age. He was kicked in the head by a horse and died right in fornt of her. She was spiritual but not necessarily a Christian. Her office was in a lovely old victorian mansion in NW Portand. I was a new christian and on fire for the Lord so I was a bit skeptical but she helped my stepmom so much. I found htat with all of the counselors I have seen she probably helped me the most because she truly understood the depth of the pain. The pain I thought would physically kill me. What I learned from her most is that this is a process, a very, very long process. When you love that deep digging your way up out of such intense despair is a lot of work. And there aren't any words that can take it away even when they come from a professional. She knew when to just listen, she knew when to push me a bit, and she didn't try to "fix" me. She told me to find someone that I could talk with, saying the same things over and over and over, each time my sould accepting it just a bit more. Acceptance is very different than "getting over it" or all of a sudden being healed. I am still not healed, but I do have joy in my life. When you lose someone you love so deeply (and I can't even fathom your loss) there will always be a empty part of you. Because we are Christian we have the assurance that we will be reunited one day, but that came later. Over the years I have seen many Christian counselors, some wonderful and some awful (one told me that by missing Steve it was insulting Tony-seriously????).<br /><br />Don't be hard on yourself, or try to rush yourself. Know that counseling will help. I think that finding someone who has actually lost a child will really help. I think someone who understands and believes in God is important but someone who understands grief may be even more important right now. I will see if my stepmom remebers the counselor's name, I was in a fog and don't remember.<br /><br />Just thoughts. I don't know if this helps or not. Sending much love and prayers to you and Mark (and the rest of your family)!<br />xo, Susan Morris<br /><br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455625283347938520.post-53514860787120917752013-02-12T16:49:50.045-08:002013-02-12T16:49:50.045-08:00Thank you, sweet Andrea. xoxoThank you, sweet Andrea. xoxoFor Viennehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14239370029818098079noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455625283347938520.post-49366483757930469522013-02-12T11:46:16.866-08:002013-02-12T11:46:16.866-08:00I am so glad you blog so I can see how it is going...I am so glad you blog so I can see how it is going for you! I love Ivy's precious smile. My heart, thoughts and prayers are always with you. Hugs! AndreaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455625283347938520.post-71780416405903784762013-02-12T11:10:09.810-08:002013-02-12T11:10:09.810-08:00hhmmm...I look forward to talking about our experi...hhmmm...I look forward to talking about our experiences together and I look forward to hearing how it goes for you guys tonight. <br /><br />We will chat soon. xoxo Love to you.For Viennehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14239370029818098079noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455625283347938520.post-89473479093850516962013-02-12T11:07:24.117-08:002013-02-12T11:07:24.117-08:00Thank you, Allie, for taking a moment to leave a c...Thank you, Allie, for taking a moment to leave a comment. I know how awkward it is. I know the struggle to find the right words. And, you're right. There aren't any. But, truly, just KNOWING that you are here and thinking of us and remembering Vienne...well, that is all that I can ask for and it fills a little space in my heart. <br /><br />LOVE that you are being drawn to dinos. Oh my heart.<br /><br />xoxoFor Viennehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14239370029818098079noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455625283347938520.post-8812822220187944522013-02-12T11:05:31.126-08:002013-02-12T11:05:31.126-08:00You are so sweet Pam. All of you who leave commen...You are so sweet Pam. All of you who leave comments feel like sweet tender friends to me. It is a true blessing.<br /><br />And, thank you for your sweet words to my mom. She will love that.For Viennehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14239370029818098079noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455625283347938520.post-61265530593504524342013-02-12T11:04:17.214-08:002013-02-12T11:04:17.214-08:00Doy. Yes, I smiled at your goofiness. Love you m...Doy. Yes, I smiled at your goofiness. Love you mom.For Viennehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14239370029818098079noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455625283347938520.post-843203104228699682013-02-12T11:03:48.714-08:002013-02-12T11:03:48.714-08:00Thank you, Jodi.Thank you, Jodi.For Viennehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14239370029818098079noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455625283347938520.post-53727229782188276282013-02-12T07:49:27.555-08:002013-02-12T07:49:27.555-08:00Jenny, as I read through the comments it truly ama...Jenny, as I read through the comments it truly amazes me at the wonderful people who are out there, and don't even know you. You are loved!<br />So Chris and I too had a horrible experience with the councelor...we must have gone to the same one. Lol. Exactly like our lady. Too bad this happened. So 10 months later we are finally going to a councelor again, tonight. Hope it works out. She is Christian. I will let you know. She's in Tigard. <br /><br />I'm so glad your sweet Ivy is such a joy. We are blessed with these little girls we still have. <br />Love to you<br />And your mom is funny. Doy. I laughed out loud. The Hebbshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17906330838650590140noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455625283347938520.post-61322326944518711872013-02-12T06:55:57.377-08:002013-02-12T06:55:57.377-08:00I follow your blog daily, but sometimes I choose n...I follow your blog daily, but sometimes I choose not to comment because I don't have the right "words" to say. Now the more I think about how ridiculous that sounds because there aren't any words to say that could ever take your pain away. I apologize for not commenting... you are such a beautiful woman/mother and you have a beautiful family. Thank you for opening up your heart and allowing me to be a part of your lives. I've never personally met you but feel I know you. (I actually attended Ecola when Mark was at Bella) :) oh and I'm finding myself seeking out anything dinosaur. ♥<br />Blessings,<br />AllieAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455625283347938520.post-27417593495914166362013-02-11T20:35:07.708-08:002013-02-11T20:35:07.708-08:00Sweet Jenny,
I feel like we have become friends s...Sweet Jenny,<br /><br />I feel like we have become friends since I started reading about your precious girls. I will always read your mundane updates and try to send my love to each one.<br /><br />You are stronger than you know.<br /><br />I also want to say to your mom that she is in my heart. Watching your daughter battle the war that you must face makes my chest heavy thinking about it. I am also SO SORRY that she lost her adorable granddaughter. Thinking of you Julie.<br /><br />Your new friend,<br />Pam<br />Bozeman, MTAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455625283347938520.post-17758660939938124282013-02-11T18:04:26.134-08:002013-02-11T18:04:26.134-08:00Don't you love "Doy"? Never spelled ...Don't you love "Doy"? Never spelled that out before. Duh? yes. But Doy? No.<br />are you laughing?Juliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16278680402563880162noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455625283347938520.post-62197060068334648942013-02-11T18:03:22.671-08:002013-02-11T18:03:22.671-08:00Ok...I just figured out the "subscribe by ema...Ok...I just figured out the "subscribe by email thing". Let's see if it works. Doy.Juliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16278680402563880162noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455625283347938520.post-6133898665449548162013-02-11T18:02:17.785-08:002013-02-11T18:02:17.785-08:00Love her toothie smile. Ivy is such a joy-bug. And...Love her toothie smile. Ivy is such a joy-bug. And you? Well, I may be a bit biased, but you are gorgeous, my daughter...in every way.Juliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16278680402563880162noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455625283347938520.post-73052556129620581322013-02-11T13:26:21.484-08:002013-02-11T13:26:21.484-08:00I loved your "mundane" updates Jenny. N...I loved your "mundane" updates Jenny. Nothing mundane about it at all. So sorry the counselor is so hard to come by. I have no recommendations, but will pray you find him/her in God's perfect timing. Feel better soon. Ivy is so, so precious!Jodi Stilphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04329375455810397582noreply@blogger.com