Monday, January 13, 2014

Christmas 2013

Well, we made it through our second Christmas since Vienne passed away…but it was the first Christmas that we actually celebrated since, without her (we skipped it last year).

I know I have been so inconsistent with this blog, lately.  And, I know that I keep saying that, as well.  ;)  I think I am struggling with some depression when it comes to my grief and facing this blog doesn't help that depression.  But, at the same time, I battle with guilt that I need to keep this blog going for Vienne.  This is one of my few ways that I get to still be her mother…to care for something for her.  I just don't feel that I have anything good to contribute, as of late.  I feel that I would dishonor this with all the negativity that flies through my head, when I let myself dwell on my grief.  Blech….



Here is a recap of our December for you, in pictures.  <3

(Ivy's first trip to a Christmas Tree farm.  We visited the farm that we last went to with Vienne, 2 years prior.)

(Just had to include this picture because of her precious priceless belly-laugh smile.  How can you not love it??)

(Our new place all decked out in Christmas festive ware.)

(I made a new tree topper star - a copy of Vienne's star)

(traditionally, I am a bit of a Christmas spazz - this is my snowman and Santa collection.  I started the collection for Vienne's first Christmas.  This was the first year that Ivy got to appreciate it.)

(Mark and Ivy opening a 12 Days of Christmas countdown gift, from Kinsey.  She sent us 12 dinosaur books to open during the countdown.  It was very special.)

(Mark and Ivy reading one of the dino books.  I love how they are conversing in this pic)

(A sweet friend surprised us with this darling gift in the mail - a teal dinosaur tea light holder.  Ivy loved it)

(Another Vienne-themed gift - T-Rex inspired Nikes for kids!  Some of our dearest friends, Jeff and Eileen, gave these to Ivy.  Jeff designs shoes at Nike.  He saw this new design coming out and immediately new what they were going to give Ivy for Christmas.  They even included a copy of the designers drawings of the shoe and T-rex.  Even in Vienne's colors!  How perfect are they??? …Ivy is blowing Jeff and Eileen and their girls kisses in this photo. {we had to try them on over her jammies, we were just too excited.})

(We visited the Alpenrose Dairy Christmas town.  This is us with my sis, Kate and cousin Miri.)

(Christmas morning in our jammies - the photos from my phone uploaded all blurry on my computer.  Poo)

(my tiny little dotty Christmas baby)

(the boys in 'staches.  Step-brothers-in-law…etc.)

brothers-in-law being total doofs.  It's so great to have guys married into the family that get along like brothers.)

(Uncle J and Ivy)

(Mom and Kate opening gifts I made, inspired by Vienne, while I nurse Ivy under the blanket.)

(Ornaments my mom had made for me.  Each one has a picture of Vienne from each of her Christmases with us)

Miri sporting the blue and green dino hat that I made for her.)

(Grammy and Ivy Christmas morning cuddles)

(little girls bundled and waiting to go on a Christmas afternoon family walk)

(siblings and babies)

(I just like this pic because of the connectedness - Katy holding Miri's hand, Grandpa holding Ivy's hand, and Mark pulling the wagon.)

(there's that joyful grin of hers)

(I just love these next 3 photos of Ivy and Grammy together.  Both are so beautiful.  You wouldn't believe my Mama is almost 57 would you??!)

(oh those eyes of Ivy's)


The following photos are of the things I made for everyone, in remembrance of Vienne~

(here is a pic of my sweet *nieces*, Faith and Ella, wearing the dino hats that I made them for Christmas.  So flipping cute!)

(this is the ornament that I made for everyone in our family.  Vienne's star.  It was made with a wire that was wrapped with wooden raffia and then sprayed with gold glitter.)

(I also made this glass ornament with a black and white photo of Vienne kissing a snowman, and filled with "snow")

(I painted natural reusable canvas bags - black paint and a hydrangea stencil)

(this was my favorite gift that we made - we scanned some of Vienne's artwork and had them printed onto cards.  I also had a stamp made of Vienne's signature and stamped the back of each card with her signature.  Of course, no one wants to actually use the cards and will probably frame them instead.  It was a fun and sentimental project for me.)

And that's about it.  I hope your holidays were lovely and meaningful.


  1. I love everything about this post. So touching and memorable. Seems like Vienne is definitely still present in all your lives!

  2. It's okay to feel depressed and have conflicting emotions about keeping up with this blog. Really.

  3. Love seeing all your pictures from Christmas. The gifts from you and Mark are the most thoughtful and memorable treasures. We loved them all.
    Love you ~Eileen

  4. Loved our Christmas together. It was such a treat to have several days together. Ivy and her cousin, Miri, bring us so much joy. How blessed we are as grandparents. All of the Vienne-centered gifts that we gave one another were so special and unique….treasures that keep our Vienne close to heart and ever-present. She is so missed. I think of how delighted she would be with her sister and cousin…and I'm sure she is, even from her angle. I love you, my dot. So much.

  5. What an incredibly strong and touching way to make it through a tough holiday. I am in awe of your strength. <3
    Recently read this blog, and I thought of you:
    "I’m thankful for you. ~ I’m thankful for your child. ~ I’m thankful to witness your courage and bravery and strength."