deja vu

The other morning, Ivy was sitting on the counter (like V always did) and she started just randomly rocking from side to side and singing "I wear…I wear…." in this sing-song tune….exactly like I've heard it before….somewhere.  It was one of those frozen moments when I just stood and stared.  I couldn't figure out where I had heard it from….or where she had heard it from…but I swear it sounded like Vienne singing through her.  It actually kinda creeped me out for a sec.  Then after a bit I finally realized that she must've heard it from a video of Vienne singing about her birthday.  In the video, I asked V what she was going to wear to her 3rd birthday party and she didn't know so she just stammered and sang "I wear….I wear" (with her eyes looking up off to the side, like she was trying to figure it out)…and then I filled it in with "a party dress".  So, Ivy saw this video like maybe a month ago??  Once.  It is not a big part of the video and V is singing the entire way thru, so this line doesn't really stand out from the rest.  Ivy has NEVER sung this before.  But suddenly, she pulls it from her little memory and starts mimicking her sister to a  T.  Same voice.  Same tune.  Same inflections.  Same position on the counter...

Crazy.  Almost eery


Here is the video of Vienne (it is one I have shared before.)

Ivy turns 2

Our precious Ivy Lynnae turned 2 yesterday, January 12.  Two years old.  My second baby Girl is two years old!

And, let me tell you - this little Girl is one amazing treasure.  Mark and I are constantly in awe of her.  There will often be a moment, almost once a day, where Mark and I will look at each other and silently shake our heads and smile in wonderment over how gentle, meticulous, careful, sharing, mindful,  loving, affectionate, sensitive, and insightful she is.  Sounds familiar, doesn't it?

I just think she is one of the cutest little girls ever…

Here is a list of some of Ivy's favorite things:

Food:  Zucchini! (which she excitedly calls "keeny"), any fish, chicken sausage, bananas, and Grammy's apple sauce (which she calls "awesome sauce).  She's not very interested in sweets.  She is an excellent eater and enjoys most vegetables.  She is very well-fed.

Toys:  Her play kitchen.  She cooks for us every single day.  Her baby dolls.  And a new Little People Bus she just got.

Books:  Biscuit (a series of stories about a little girl and her puppy).  And, Beatrix Potter books - she can't sit still through reading them but loves the pictures and calls them all "guck guck dis" (which translates as "duck duck goose) because of the duck on the inside of the covers.

Bedtime Lovey:  her "baa-baa" - a teeny tiny plush white lamb.  

Clothes:  a pair of one-piece footed zip up jammies in pale blue with little yellow ducks.  They are the only jammies I have let her wear out to the store.  She would wear these every day.

Animals:  Elephants (she calls them "elesants" because she pronounces "f" sounds as "s" sounds…try to keep track of that one!).  Owls (called "hoo hoos").  Donkeys ("hee haws" - she loves Eeyore).  And, doggies ("woof woofs").

Movies:  "Winnie the Pooh"

Songs:  "Wheels on the Bus", "If you're happy and you know it", "ABCs".

Cute things she says and does:  *Like I mentioned, she pronounces "f" as "s", which can be tricky when interpreting.  She says "elesant!" and then lifts her chin and tries to make an elephant sound whenever she sees one.  

*When she leaves the room, she runs and looks over her shoulder and says "bye, see ya!"

*"Dono" = dino, "murse" = nurse, "gink" = drink

*She asks to hug and cuddle a lot (oh melt my heart) = she says "cu-yo" and cradles her arms like she's holding a baby and swings back and forth.

*When she gets very excited and is trying to tell me all about something, she starts to play with her hair with both hands.  

*Ivy LOVES stars.  Yes, it is because we have Vienne's star in many places.  Because both Mark and I have a tattoo of Vienne's star on our forearms, Ivy requests that we draw a star on her hand every few days.  Once it's worn off, she will ask for a fresh new drawing on each hand.  It's pretty cute.  I have no problem with her getting a tattoo of her sister's star when she's of age.

*She is very in tune to emotions when she is watching a show.  She will point and say "Pooh sad" in a very sad voice and seem like she is all worried.  She does not like it when any character is sad.

*She is a major perfectionist….major.  She has to push drawers in all the way…she will fix the drawers I left partly open in the kitchen.  When cleaning up (which she's not always in to), she will make sure that every last piece is picked up and put away.  All buttons must be buttoned on her cardigans.  

*She has a weird thing with her feet - she hates them being touched and insists on wearing socks all the time.  When we change her clothes she is emphatic about putting the socks on first.  

*She loves to play with water.  I will give her a cup half full of water and an empty bowl and she will pour the water back and forth between the two.  She is pretty accurate and meticulous about it.  She takes care of her spills by running to get a towel. 

*She likes her food separated on the plate, of course.  She is very aware when she drops a morsel of food on her shirt or the floor.  (You'd think this all came from us!  I mean, sure, we are neat and tidy people, obviously,….but we do not force it upon our children nor even expect it in the slightest.  But…goodness, it developed naturally in both girls.)

For this birthday, I jumped in with both feet and threw her a fun Classic Pooh themed party.  I love to craft and create (as you've probably seen in posts about Vienne's birthday parties) and so I was excited to get back into it, this year for Ivy.  The planning of the party is what is fun for me…all the creative details…but actually doing the party, now that's another story.  Very difficult on my nerves right now.  But, it is worth it for my girl.  Everyone had a wonderful time.  It was a lovely little party and I believe our Baby Girl enjoyed herself.  

Here are some photos from the evening ~

Welcome to Ivy's 100 Aker Wood party

burlap bunting banner with sparkly little honey bees and a star in the middle because Ivy loves stars.

honey bees

The spread.  I wish the photo was better.  This was the best we got.  I colored the map of the 100 Aker Wood that I had printed at Staples.  Used twinkle lit trees from my and my mom's Christmas decor and stuck more sparkly little honey bees all over the tree branches.  Printed and framed some simple Classic Pooh images from the internet.  Found a cute porcelain Pooh figurine at Goodwill.  "Hunny" labels for simple clay pots.  Moss and pine cones.  And, scored some pieces of wood and logs with tea light holes from my sister in law, who just threw her girlfriend a Pooh Baby shower.  Oh, and of course, the classic one blue balloon.

"Hunny" pots filled with honey sticks and homemade honey marshmallows, dusted in cocoa powder.  I stuck the marshmallows on candy sticks and wrapped them in little cellophane bags.

The beehive cupcakes.  I tried my best at these.  I found an image on Pinterest that I was trying to copy.  Cut and made the honeycomb printed wrappers.  Grain free chocolate cupcakes with homemade toasted honey marshmallow cream topping.  The toasted marshmallow topping was supposed to look swirled like a beehive…but the kitchen torch kinda melted the swirling.  And, they were each topped with a sugared honey bee - which were the only things on the entire cupcake that was sugar - everything else was made with honey.

Ivy's cupcake with two hand-dipped bees wax candles.

Mark torching the marshmallow cream.

Pooh bear ears for everyone.

My little Birthday girl!  Isn't her dress darling?  It was handmade for her by a sweet friend of ours.  This was the perfect occasion to wear it with her vintage black granny boots.

The drink station with coffee, tea, and homemade honey-mint lemonade.  Phew I went through a LOT of honey!

For dinner, we served Ivy's favorite meal - fresh caught salmon (caught by her Grandpa Tom), roasted zucchini and carrots, and herbed brown rice.  It was simple, easy, yet delish.

Utensils, napkins, and birch tree straws.

Kids' tables with easy mess-free crafts.

sticker scenes and paper dolls.

Owl's Tree Howse sign, leading up to the fort in our loft.

At the top of the stairs, you have to crawl through the entrance to the "tree house" fort.

Inside, sheets were hung and draped about and mattresses on the floor for jumping.  It was a major hit.

Cute Daddy.

Beautiful Birthday Girl

Gifties

well…it's a dino rocker, of course!  From Uncle David, Auntie Kinsey, and Cousins Elliott and Charlie.

She LOVED the owl clips that went with a darling outfit, from Uncle Jeff, Auntie Eileen, and cousins Ella and Faith.

She Also loved the awesome nordic Naartje boots she is wearing on one foot from Uncle Setth, Auntie Lacey, & cousins Caleb and Kai.

A new Pooh movie and a plush Eeyore toy from Grammy (or "Amma" as Ivy calls her)

I made her a sweater.

cake, candles, and song.

Cross-eyed wonder!!  haha.  She LOVED the song and blowing out candles and asked for it over and over.  We sang and relit a few times.

Us.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY PRECIOUS BABY GIRL.  

I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER EVER KNOW.

YOU ARE MY HEART AND MY EVERY BREATH…YOU AND YOUR SISTER.

xoxoxo

Christmas 2013

Well, we made it through our second Christmas since Vienne passed away…but it was the first Christmas that we actually celebrated since, without her (we skipped it last year).

I know I have been so inconsistent with this blog, lately.  And, I know that I keep saying that, as well.  ;)  I think I am struggling with some depression when it comes to my grief and facing this blog doesn't help that depression.  But, at the same time, I battle with guilt that I need to keep this blog going for Vienne.  This is one of my few ways that I get to still be her mother…to care for something for her.  I just don't feel that I have anything good to contribute, as of late.  I feel that I would dishonor this with all the negativity that flies through my head, when I let myself dwell on my grief.  Blech….

Phew…anyway.

Christmas.

Here is a recap of our December for you, in pictures.  <3

(Ivy's first trip to a Christmas Tree farm.  We visited the farm that we last went to with Vienne, 2 years prior.)

(Just had to include this picture because of her precious priceless belly-laugh smile.  How can you not love it??)

(Our new place all decked out in Christmas festive ware.)

(I made a new tree topper star - a copy of Vienne's star)

(traditionally, I am a bit of a Christmas spazz - this is my snowman and Santa collection.  I started the collection for Vienne's first Christmas.  This was the first year that Ivy got to appreciate it.)

(Mark and Ivy opening a 12 Days of Christmas countdown gift, from Kinsey.  She sent us 12 dinosaur books to open during the countdown.  It was very special.)

(Mark and Ivy reading one of the dino books.  I love how they are conversing in this pic)

(A sweet friend surprised us with this darling gift in the mail - a teal dinosaur tea light holder.  Ivy loved it)

(Another Vienne-themed gift - T-Rex inspired Nikes for kids!  Some of our dearest friends, Jeff and Eileen, gave these to Ivy.  Jeff designs shoes at Nike.  He saw this new design coming out and immediately new what they were going to give Ivy for Christmas.  They even included a copy of the designers drawings of the shoe and T-rex.  Even in Vienne's colors!  How perfect are they??? …Ivy is blowing Jeff and Eileen and their girls kisses in this photo. {we had to try them on over her jammies, we were just too excited.})

(We visited the Alpenrose Dairy Christmas town.  This is us with my sis, Kate and cousin Miri.)

(Christmas morning in our jammies - the photos from my phone uploaded all blurry on my computer.  Poo)

(my tiny little dotty Christmas baby)

(the boys in 'staches.  Step-brothers-in-law…etc.)

brothers-in-law being total doofs.  It's so great to have guys married into the family that get along like brothers.)

(Uncle J and Ivy)

(Mom and Kate opening gifts I made, inspired by Vienne, while I nurse Ivy under the blanket.)

(Ornaments my mom had made for me.  Each one has a picture of Vienne from each of her Christmases with us)

Miri sporting the blue and green dino hat that I made for her.)

(Grammy and Ivy Christmas morning cuddles)

(little girls bundled and waiting to go on a Christmas afternoon family walk)

(siblings and babies)

(I just like this pic because of the connectedness - Katy holding Miri's hand, Grandpa holding Ivy's hand, and Mark pulling the wagon.)

(there's that joyful grin of hers)

(I just love these next 3 photos of Ivy and Grammy together.  Both are so beautiful.  You wouldn't believe my Mama is almost 57 would you??!)

(oh those eyes of Ivy's)

*************************

The following photos are of the things I made for everyone, in remembrance of Vienne~

(here is a pic of my sweet *nieces*, Faith and Ella, wearing the dino hats that I made them for Christmas.  So flipping cute!)

(this is the ornament that I made for everyone in our family.  Vienne's star.  It was made with a wire that was wrapped with wooden raffia and then sprayed with gold glitter.)

(I also made this glass ornament with a black and white photo of Vienne kissing a snowman, and filled with "snow")

(I painted natural reusable canvas bags - black paint and a hydrangea stencil)

(this was my favorite gift that we made - we scanned some of Vienne's artwork and had them printed onto cards.  I also had a stamp made of Vienne's signature and stamped the back of each card with her signature.  Of course, no one wants to actually use the cards and will probably frame them instead.  It was a fun and sentimental project for me.)

And that's about it.  I hope your holidays were lovely and meaningful.