Happy Birthday To Me

It is my birthday today.  35.  35?  I cannot believe I am 35.  

It is a bittersweet day.  I have celebrated the last 5 birthdays of mine with my precious darling girl, Vienne.  My 30th was celebrated while 9 months pregnant and about to pop.  

My memories of my birthday, last year, are of coming downstairs to a completely decorated living space - full of streamers and balloons.  The table was set for a party with birthday plates, cups, napkins, and hats - all picked out by Vienne.  She was dressed in her blue "birthday party" dress (which is really an Alice in Wonderland dress up dress).  She was sooooooo excited to show me everything and exclaim "Happy Birthday, Mom!!!"  I miss her so much.  I miss her joy and excitement over everything.

(me, at my birthday table - all set for me, the morning I came down for my 34th birthday, last year.)

Here are some special memories of me and my beautiful precious Girl.  

(matching hats.  Lacey made me mine and I made Vienne's.  It was the first hat I ever crocheted, back when I was teaching myself.  Oh how far I have come since then.  Look at those sweet cheeks of hers.  I have always loved that we have matching eyes.)

(you can tell that I had just colored my hair)

(Mom!  Your hair is DARK!)

(this was taken on my  31st birthday, 4 years ago, right before her 1st birthday.)

(at the end of that birthday, she gave me sweet birthday cuddles for a good 30 minutes.  I remember because it was rare at that age if she wasn't nursing)

(this was in the summer after her 1st birthday)

(just an evening out and about in Cannon Beach)

(we stopped for some favorite ice cream - it looks like Vienne wants a lick)

(you've all seen these before - our first photo session with Kinsey, our sis in law.  That beautiful sweater was made by Aunt Lacey)

(fall of 2009 - at a pumpkin patch, in the corn maze)

(on my 32nd birthday, the day before we moved away from Cannon Beach - we went down to spend some last precious moments on the beach and then went out for a nice family dinner.)

(at dinner on that birthday of mine - Vienne was always so amazingly well-behaved wherever we went.  We could take her to a nice place to eat and always get compliments on her behavior.)

(my crab dinner - yum!)

(that's water.)

(our last glimpse of Haystack Rock.  Sometimes we miss calling that home)

(oh the precious cuddles.)

(well, isn't that a look!)

(tickles and giggles)

(entertaining ourselves while at a restaurant)

(fall of 2010)

(Christmas 2010)

(for my 33rd Birthday we went and spent a day in McMinnville.  I wanted to check out cute boutiques and have lunch.)

(strolling the cute little town on my bday)

(aren't we cute?)

(out to lunch for my birthday - found this great little cafe in McMinnville)

(after lunch, we went to the park.  This is, by far, one of my most favorite photos of the 3 of us.)

(my birthday dinner with my family.  Vienne and I were goofing around in front of the camera)

(ummm...I don't know)

(oh those sweet kisses I miss so much.)

(helping me open gifts)

(a visit to the beach)

(watching the 4th of July parade in Cannon Beach)

(fall of 2011 - I am 10 mo. pregnant with Ivy in this photo, as well)

(big sister kisses)

(feeling the baby kick!)

(this one isn't beautiful or artistic...but it melts my heart.  Her cuddles and her smile...just sitting with Mama)

(at the beach, last summer of 2012 - she is eating candy, which is why she is not smiling in either of these photos)

(mama and dot, girl time on the beach)

(me and my most beautiful amazing precious girls...back when my life was a dream-come-true.  My arms were full and content and oh so happy.  Oh how my other arm aches for the daughter that is gone.)

**I have just one birthday wish from those who know me and knew Vienne...I am making the same request on Facebook.  Would you mind taking a few minutes, if you could, and sharing with me a memory that you have of me with Vienne (either on here or private email me)?  I LOVE hearing memories of the two of us...I love hearing them from different perspectives.  I will keep and cherish them always.  That would sincerely make my birthday.

Thank you!

xoxo

Happy Birthday, Miriam

This is a special birthday tribute to my beautiful niece, Miriam Julianne who turns 1 today, on April 8th!  She was a special birthday gift to me - for my birthday is tomorrow.  Miriam is my sister's first baby.  We both have special birthday connections to each other's girls - Ivy was due on Kate's birthday, January 15 and was born just 3 days early on the 12th.  Miriam was due around April 4th and was born on the 8th, one day before my birthday.  Sweet birthday gifts to us both.

(My sister Katy, Miriam and Jeremy at Miriam's First Birthday Party this past weekend.  Cutest family.  They are such a HUGE blessing to us.)

Miriam is blossoming into such a fun and sweet little girl.  She is so sweetly-natured, so curious and quick-learning yet a great listener.  She loves to laugh and make everyone around her laugh.  She is full of quirky fun and I cannot wait to watch her continue to grow!

Here are just a few memories I have of Vienne and Miriam.  Miriam only knew Vienne for 5 short months.

(I don't have any pictures of Miriam on the actual day she was born, but these are a few from our visit to them at the birthing center.  You see Katy's back is turned, nursing Miri, hiding from the camera...she did just deliver a baby!  This is Vienne and her Uncle Jeremy, whom she loved so very dearly.  Vienne was not shy about crawling right up into bed with them!)

(notice that Vienne had to wear her "birthday party" dress for Miriam...and for me, since this was my birthday we came to visit her on last year.)

(I love these.  So sweet.)

(last summer - Vienne finally got to bottle feed a baby!  It was something she dreamed of doing ever since I was pregnant.  Ivy does not take a bottle, so here she is feeding Miriam)

(most precious thing)

(cousins having sweet conversation)

(this is Miriam today and my beautiful sister, Katy - aren't they gorgeous girls?!)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DARLING AND AMAZING NIECE!

I LOVE YOU EVER SO DEARLY!

Vienne's 1st Birthday

*Springtime is the time for birthdays in my family.  Mark, myself, and Vienne have birthdays, each 3 wks apart from each other.  And now my niece Miriam has joined the spring time birthday crowd.  All this to say, that I am going to fill this month with many birthday-themed posts.  I am also counting down until Vienne's birthday on May 1.  Celebrating your dead daughter's birthday, for the first time without her, does not sound fun to me.  But, I want to take time to remember the birthdays past.  Today, I am remembering Vienne's first birthday.

On May 1, 2009 Vienne turned 1 and was still such a chubby little peanut...growing a fabulous curly mullet and sporting the yummiest cheeks.   She was not yet walking...but was "scaling the walls" and furniture instead.  Here is a fun list of "Vienne Facts" that I found in her baby book.  They are funny to read back over.  She has been unique from the very start.  You will see from these facts that she always did things in her own sweet time.  It never meant that she was "behind"...she was just on her own schedule and we all know that she turned out just fine!   (this should be encouragement for those parents out there who "think" their babies are behind in "normal" developmental stages.)

~ At 1 yr. old, Vienne weighed 17.8 lbs and measured 27" tall.  Teeny teeny.  She was still wearing size 2 infant shoes! (umm...so does Ivy)

~ Her favorite game to play with Mama was "Peek-a-boo"

~ Her favorite game to play with Dadda was to sit on his shoulders while he ran around.

~ She made us laugh when she would bounce/dance, while holding onto a ledge and "run in place", shaking her head like a "Flash Dance" move.

~ Right before her first birthday, she FINALLY broke out of her swaddle and wanted to sleep without    it!  Whoah.

~ She started to FINALLY really eat solid foods.

~ Once she started sleeping out of her swaddle, she started to sleep on her tummy for the first time.

~ This one is funny:  She sat up for the first time on her own at 14 months!!  What?!  Weird.  I, now, remember joking that we could lay her on her back and she was like a flipped turtle!

~ She took her first steps at 14 mo.

~ She moved to 1 nap at 14 mo.

~ She stood up without help, or crawling to a ledge at 15 mo.

~ She said "Hi" at 15 mo.

*12-15 months was a big time for her!

Here are photos from her First Birthday

(opening her very first birthday gifts that came in the mail a few days prior to her party)

(oh those sweet sweet cheeks)

We were still living in Cannon Beach at this time.  In the days before "Pinterest" and homemade cupcake tiers and bunting banners, we threw Vienne a basic Open House party, decorated only with balloons and flowers.  It was simple and sweet.   I did make her invitations.  I remember going all out in the kitchen (no surprise there, of course) and filling our table with yummy appetizers, in a buffet-style set up.  I made two desserts - the fun adult dessert and the healthy one for Vienne because I had not let her eat sugar yet.  A lemon-rhubard tart for the "health-phobic" =  amazing.  And then I made what has been coined as the "Birth-Day cake" full of dates, coconut, bananas, honey...you know me...healthy.  It was the special Birth-cake that was made for me when Vienne was born.  Of course, Vienne had no interest in the cake...but then again, Vienne was just starting to slowly show an interest in food.

(This was Vienne's first birthday party invitation that I made for her.  Simple and sweet.  I think it is neat that before I even knew her favorite colors would be blue and green, her invite was made in blue and green!  [BTW:  that phone number is no longer used...so don't worry])

(Birthday girl in her simple and sweet birthday dress)

(playing with friends)

(My sister, Kate, and her hubby, Jeremy...always hangin' around the food table!)

(opening gifts)

(these photos remind me that she had unexpectedly broken out in a funny rash/reaction on her cheek...just for her birthday party!)

(it's funny to look back at these pictures - she wasn't as smily for the camera as her little sister is...of course that all changed as she grew older) 

(a snapshot of the grandparents - Mark's mom, my dad, and my stepdad in the back)

(the lemon rhubarb tart my sister and I made for the adults...it was delish!)

(singing "the song", with the organic healthy cake I made for Vienne)

(look at the yummy healthy cake mommy made!  I notice, here, how she is not even wearing a bib...because she rarely ate and when she did eat, she was as neat as an adult!  Ivy is too!)

(poke poke...)

(um, no thanks, Mom)

(oh well...)

(almost ready to take first steps)

She was gifted with darling clothes and a few beautiful wooden toys.  We had annoyingly made it clear that we preferred minimal toys...and that they preferably be wooden or cloth.  Yes, we're those parents.  But, I don't regret it!  We never had a home over-run with plastic loud toys.  And, Vienne was able to employ her imagination to her simple toys...and those who know her, all know what kind of a wild imagination she developed.  I hope the same for Ivy.

(cute dress she received from Aunt Kate)

(wooden blocks - a play time staple)