"Do you see her?
Do you see her outward beauty? Her hair is always pretty. Her clothes are always fashionable. She is beautiful and slim.
She holds the hand of the cutest, teeny tiny toddler with her adorable grin.
She is polite.
She may even laugh.
She visits and listens and cares about others.
But do you see her?
Do you see the "limb" that she is missing?
Do you see her grief? Her gut wrenching pain?
Do you see a mother without her beloved daughter?
Do you see the hole that is left in her heart?
Do you see her armor she wears to battle each new day?
Do you see a Daughter questioning WHY of her Heavenly Father?
Do you see her strength to continue on without her first born?
When you are shopping in the store, see her having coffee, or have the privilege of spending time with her- do you see a hero?
Do you see a survivor who has gotten up and faced every moment of every day for almost an entire year without her precious girl?
She is surviving.
She is a hero.
She is a mommy to two girls.
She is my friend.
She is amazing.
...We never know what others around us are enduring. Why they may be having a "bad day" or why they act how they do. We are so quick to judge. Let's remember to show kindness and compassion to everyone we meet. To show love. Grace. To be a Light. I need to remember this as I go through my days. We never know how we may be a blessing to even a stranger."
My beautiful dear friend, Kristel, posted this today on her Facebook page after spending the morning with me and Ivy. I cannot read it without racking sobs. She is a true friend who sees me...sees past my hard exterior that I work so hard to keep up so that I don't fall apart. She sees past my grumpiness that seeps out at any frustration thrown at me. She doesn't take it personally. She knows. And she loves me.
Please pray for me. I don't ask this often...but I am really severely struggling right now. And, I am fully acknowledging the "spiritual" attack that is being waged on me right now. Not only am I barely able to manage my intense grief as the 1 year mark quickly approaches....but now we are facing trials with our new rental. It is a long horrible story where everything that could go wrong has at every turn. We are planning to move this next Saturday and I just don't know if it can all be worked out by then. My nerves are fried. My heart feels shredded. I am worn and exhausted and at my end.
I do not want to live this life I have been dealt.