I miss her deeply. The unfairness of it all keeps haunting me. I just want my old life back so so badly. It is such a horror to wake up each day to realize that I am still forced to live my nightmare. I feel like a prisoner. This is my sentence. I will always find ways to discover joy in this prison…I will strive hard to "make the best" of my horrid fate…but I will always want out. I will always want to escape. I will always pine for the life I once had.
So here I am playing and replaying home videos of my girl…striving to bring her light into my prison. It is a sad and happy thing to watch them. Here is this silly video of my precious Vienne playing on the Wii.
Awwww, so precious! I love her little polka dot pants.ReplyDelete
I remember seeing Elizabeth Edwards being interviewed by Oprah, after finding out there was nothing else they could do to treat her breast cancer. She told Oprah she had no fear of death at all because she was going to finally be reunited with her son Wade. I know it's of no comfort because you still have your whole life to live but, your sweet girl will greet you with open arms one day!
I love her polka dot jammy pants too. We seemed to have spent a lot of time in our jambes - I think most videos of her are in some sort of jams!Delete
Thank you for your encouragement.
Simple, beautiful memories. I would be watching them on repeat too. Just seeing the back of her little head, her little bun, hearing her little voice. Oh Jenny, I would want out of the nightmare too. We can never go back unfortunately, and even if we did, the universe would find a way to make it never the same again. The death of a child is so final, the absolute worst thing in my opinion anyone could go through. And yet here you are......never far from my thoughts. My wish every night is that you will hold V again. I know in my heart you will.ReplyDelete
You stated it all so precisely, Haylee. It IS so final and, yes, I believe too that it is the absolute worst thing to go through. I would (and I know you would…as well as most mothers!) opt for ANY other kind of torture or trama or loss in order to save the life of my child. ANY.Delete
Thank you, always, for always keeping me near to your thoughts. It ALWAYS means so very much to hear. xo
She is so perfect. Loved watching her little bottom shake. Beautiful little girl. Love you friend, think and pray for you all the time. XOXOReplyDelete
Missing You AlwaysReplyDelete
You never said I'm leaving
You never said goodbye
You were gone before we knew it
And only God knows why
A million times I needed you
A million times I cried
If love alone could have saved you
You never would have died
In life I loved you dearly
In death I love you still
In my heart I hold a place
That only you can fill
Saw this poem And instantly thought of you!
kyrie 5 spongebob