Memorial Service - 9/9/12

I need to jot down the specifics of all the was done at the service so that I will never forget...never forget the specific details that were planned just for Vienne and all the amazing people who rushed to make it perfect in 2 short days. 
We were told that around 500 people showed up to honor our beautiful daughter's life.  I am astounded by the number.  We tried to tell everyone to wear her favorite colors - blue and green.  I did not notice, of course, but I have heard that the chapel was an ocean of blue and green. 
There is a precious memory of mine that is stemmed from the blue and green hydrangeas that filled the chapel.  The night before Vienne was ripped from my life, she and Mark went on a little walk.  She was dressed all up in her new Cinderella dress and matching plastic click-clack shoes.  Her hair was twisted up in a bun and she was wearing a string of my pearls.  She was soooooooo breathtakingly beautiful.  I stood in the window and just watched her slowly click clack down the sidewalk with Daddy.  She kept pointing up at the sky and I remember that I thought I should take a picture of this.  She was on a hunt to pick flowers for me.  My thoughtful, sweet, loving girl.  When they eventually came back home, she comes in with her excited, yet mischievous grin, holding something behind her back.  She tells me to close my eyes because she has a surprise.  She gently lays a beautiful blue hydrangea in my hands.  She was so excited that she found some flowers that were her favorite color.  She always melted my heart.  Thank you to Brooke for collecting the hundreds of hydrangeas for my sweet sweet girl.

Our talented sister in law, Kinsey, composed the most beautiful video montage of photos and home movies.  Each time we watch it, it brings gut wrenching sobs.  Oh, she was so beautiful and full of joy and life.  Kinsey also designed and printed hundreds of beautiful "programs" for the service.  She worked so hard, nonstop, all weekend long...through her shock and grief.

A day after Vienne's passing, we heard that John Bruce, a man from my mom and stepdad's church, was so moved by her loss that he started to write a song for her.  By saturday, he recorded it so that it could be played at her service.  He would've loved to sing it live, but his emotion was too strong.  Beautiful Vienne - it was played at the service while the picture of her dressed up as a "Princess Fairy Rainbow" was displayed on the screen.  It was perfect.

My stepfather, Tom, read a letter from my Mom.  My sister in law, Kinsey, read my letter through a compassionate mother's tears.  My brother in law, Jeremy, read a letter from my sister, Kate.  And, Mark shared his most lovely and heartfelt words with a strength even I didn't know he had.

Our Pastor Bob Hyatt from our church, The Evergreen Community, delivered an appropriate and powerful homily.

The service was concluded by my sister in law, Becky, singing the lullaby that I sang to Vienne and sing to Ivy now - Tell Me Why.  It was emotional and tender.  Perfect.

Green frosted chocolate cupcakes were made and contributed by many, served with Sleepy Monk coffee.

The line of people that wanted to hug me and share their tears was staggering and overwhelming, to say the least.  But, I really wanted to see who all was there.  Feeling their sympathetic pain, helped me to express my own deep deep sorrow.

One of the worst days of my life.  But I am so overwhelmingly appreciative for the selfless work that was rushed to put this together in such a short amount of time so that all who had flown in could come to the service.  I will be forever grateful. 

{Memories} ~ from Brynn Weagraff Esbenshade

"Out of all the things you could remember about your wedding day, Vienne is a special memory from mine! I was hiding behind some trees waiting to begin the ceremony and Mark and Vienne arrived. I am pretty sure she liked my dress :) because she could not stop staring. She was so adorable. She showed me her bracelets, gave me a hug, and told me I was beautiful in her sweet little voice, just that could have made my day. But it was only the begining of such a fun evening.

At the reception she danced the Whole night! I love looking through photos and Vienne is in almost everyone of the dance floor. She is sometimes the center of attention in the photo, but mostly you see her among the "big people" on the dance floor watching and dancing. I am pretty sure that I danced with Vienne more than any other person that night, even more than my new husband! But so worth it as she sparkled with her smile and excitement. Afterwards, I spoke with my family about how she just could not leave the "party" and they all noticed the same thing! She was certainly marveled at that night!

The other memories I love are of the children really wanting the cupcakes! Just standing at the cupcake table staring, I like to imagine what they and Vienne were thinking....

I feel so blessed to have had such a special experience with Vienne on such a big day in my life.

Her sweetness and pure heart make me smile.

Love, Brynn"

A Word from Daddy, for Vienne Juliet

*This is what Mark wrote and read at her Memorial Service.  My husband is an amazing man and incredible Father.


For our family, for Jenny and I, heaven was on earth with Vienne.
Precious, caring, loving, fun, joyful, creative, adventurous, beautiful.
Vienne loved games and Her favorites were as simple as playing make believe with her many toy friends. She had dozens and every single one of them had a name. It was sometimes Jenny and I's job to remember the names when even V couldn't keep up with her own creativity; for example there was T-Rex, Alice, Cora, Rainbow Dash, Peritto, and Toronado.  This was her wonderful world and we were all characters in a vast tapestry of adventure and fun. She herself had many roles to play as well.
Most recently, Vienne was (in her words) a "princess fairy rainbow".  She will also be remembered as a soccer-playing pirate with a super kick, dragon tamer, a dinosaur lover, my home-brew bottle capping apprentice, an endearing friend, a playful cousin, an adored niece, a precious grand-daughter, a loving big sister, a most beloved daughter.
Those who spent time with Vienne could agree that we were blessed with a very gentle soul. When other kids might occasionally grab, push or yell, V would often just turn and look at us with confusion and hurt in her eyes. She loved everyone and enjoyed nothing more than making friends, even ones she couldn't see.
Vienne loved Jesus. Stories of him were her favorites, especially where he walked on water. I think he achieved super hero status with that one. Vienne loved Jesus and would sometimes ask me, "dad, when can we go to heaven and play?". She somehow got it in her head that heaven was a big amusement park with lots of rides she was tall enough to go on.
Jesus said in John 14:2 "in my fathers house are many rooms. If it were not so I would have told you. But I go to prepare a place for you."
Vienne went to her place too early, too soon. No explanation will ever satisfy our grieving souls for we have lost that which was most precious in all the earth.  We are devastated parents in a wasteland of sorrow, mourning and tears.
But Vienne has a sister, Ivy, who remains a vibrant spark of joy in our shattered lives.  Ivy will most certainly be her own unique and beautiful self, but I do believe that Vienne's zest for life is continued through her sister. Vienne is also survived by all of your memories of her. Please don't hesitate to share these moments with us, with others or with complete strangers.  In just 4 years, I am in awe of how many lives she has touched.  Being reminded of how she shared her joy, love and innocence with you is a help to all who loved her..
The question of the day for V was always, "where are we going today?". She was always anxious for the next adventure. Vienne, today you are where you need to be. I don't understand why my baby and we miss you beyond all thought, feelings and word.  But I want you to know to Have fun my daughter, my beloved, and keep showing everyone your love and unconditional friendship.

{Home Video}: "Sagna" ~ {March 2011}

one day, vienne came home with a new baby. she endearingly named her "sagna" (pronounced 'zanya'). sagna got swaddled in a diaper. sagna was placed in a chair and fed a proper meal from vienne's kitchen. she was sung to and lovingly put to bed. she was a very loved baby.

sagna was a box of lasagna noodles.

not joking.

it started in the new seasons market. mark handed her the box and instructed her to carry it gently, as to not break the noodles. from then on, the box became a baby that vienne took special special almost disconcerting but quite entertaining care of!

of course, we ended up having to return to the store for another expensive box of gluten free lasagna noodles because we just couldn't take her baby from her.

{Memories} ~ From Kristel & Emily

Dear Vienne,

You were Emily's dearest friend for the time you spent together and she has never had a friendship since then, that was as special.  You were unique.  Everyone says so.  I remember talking with your mama for hours about how you were not normal, in the best way.  You were always so good!  So sweet and so gentle.  I remember when you and Emily would play, Emily always looked like the "wild child" and you would be the more calm one by far.  But she also brought out your silly side and it was so much fun to watch you girls play together.  Your mama was obsessed with you, as I was with Emily.  We would always joke about how it didn't seem like other mom's were as crazy-into their kids like we were. We didn't care.  We both loved to fawn over our girls and talk about how cute they were.  Your mama adored everything about you. 

Every time I was around you, I felt a pull to you.  I always wanted to love on you and shower you with affection and I'm not always like that with other people's children.  But you were special.  You drew people to you with your amazing spirit.  I fully believe you were an angel given to the most special parents. 

You were so adorable on your 3rd birthday, which is the last one Emily and I were there for.  I remember you standing on the table to blow out your candles- you were always so tiny and little and precious.  And that year you got a red tricycle and you were so excited!  Your mom throws the most elegant, beautiful parties and she worked so hard to make everything special for you.  I'll never forget you and Emily playing balloons and laughing that day.

Thank you for letting me love on you for such a short time.  Thank you for being a friend to my Emily.  You brought so much joy to this life and we are all grateful to have known you.

With all my love,
Kristel

Video made for Vienne's Memorial Service

She was the most beautiful creation.  I cannot believe that she came from me.  If you knew her, you loved her.  Just watching her...you will love her.

Grammy's Letter

Saturday, 9/8/12, 6am                                                                                                                                                                                                             

VN, it’s me, Grammy.

          Can I tell you of your beauty?

I woke this morning with memories of your beauty…

         

…You and I, in the car last week after we went to the water park and played.  Mommy had to run into the store to get a card for your Daddy – it was last Tuesday, Sept. 4^th, their 7^th anniversary that day, you know.  I was in the passenger seat and you were in your car seat…Ivy was sleeping in her car seat…remember?  And you and I had to whisper and be so quiet – you were so good at being quiet when you had to – and so respectful of Ivy’s needs.

          I turned and mouthed to you “I love you” and you looked at me quizzically, head tilted.

So I said it real slow and signed it – finger to eye, hand to heart, I pointed at YOU – you, in all your beauty.  And then you did it back to me – mouthed “I love you”, finger to eye, hand to heart, and you pointed at me. 

And you wanted to keep doing it, back and forth, again and again – just like you always wanted to do things again and again that you found joyful and fun.

“Again, Grammy, lets do it again” 

And we did.

And then we drove back to Grammy’s house to spend the day – us 4 girls.  We put Ivy upstairs sleeping, and you and I set up the little red table with 3 chairs so you and mommy and I could eat lunch together. 

And we did.

Then you and I walked down to my neighbor, Sue’s house.  She was having one of her big garage sales and she invited us to come down early and look at the princess costumes. 

                   And we did.

First you tried on an Ariel costume, complete with a mermaid tail.  But it was just a little big. Then you went over and you put your delicate little hand on a light blue sparkly one and said: “I like this one…it’s blue, my favorite.” 

So Grammy got it down and looked and it was your size!  4T and in perfect condition, no rips, no stains.  We put it over your head and you went and looked in the mirror at yourself, this way and that.  Then you came back and asked about shoes.  And Sue found you the perfect little Cinderella shoes with click clack little heels for your perfect blue Cinderella dress.  And Sue let you pick out a blue boa – sparkly and long.  You didn’t want that as a “shawl” – you made it your princess pet, pulling it behind you.  You named it “Blue”.  You always named things, toys, imaginations – you always gave them such crazy fantastic names.  Then we walked back to Grammy’s house  - you - click clacking all the way, Sue - standing back on the sidewalk waving and watching us.  And you were SOOOOOO beautiful.  Truly a princess, inside & out, a daughter of the KING.  I stared at you and caught my breath – you stole my breath away - just like you always do when I behold your beauty.                  You take my breath away every time.

          My enchanting Vienne…I love you so incredibly.  Thank you for breathing your spirit into your sister, Ivy.  When we look at her, we get to see glimpses of you.  I am so grateful for that.  I know you are in Jesus’ arms.  I trust that – & we will be together again soon.  I will write to you of your beauty & our memories & the promise of our pending reunion all of my days.

Love, Grammy