Messy

I fear that I have done this all wrong.  I know there is no "wrong" or "right" way to do this grief thing...but I am wondering if I made a mistake earlier on that is affecting me now.

I was so full of overwhelming shock and trauma when it all happened that I couldn't possibly make a fully wise decision.  But I clearly remember, that day, bawling that I couldn't go back home...I just couldn't.  And, so there....done.  My family made it happen.  They found us a new home and I never had to return.  I have been so quick to just run from those things that hurt.  Run from the place where she died.  Run from the memories of her bedroom...her bathroom...her living space.  Run from the neighborhood we fell in love with.  Run from the scent of her sheets...her clothes...her things.  Run from the places that we frequented.  Run run run.

I thought I was protecting myself.  The pain was great enough as it is...so I couldn't fathom the pain of living in the same house...or being surrounded by everything her.  The thought of it felt crippling and horrific.  But now?  Now...I almost wish I hadn't.  Now I wish I had a room to lock myself into and bury myself in her things and just safely weep and weep and weep.  Sure, we keep her present in our home.  I have shared in a previous post how much we have done to do so.  But, it's not the same.  Instead I've created this tightly contained "safe" bubble in an effort to protect myself from what I've imagined to be even deeper more stinging pain.  I used to want the pain.  But I find that I do not anymore.  I am so tired of it.  But now that I have it so constantly bottled up, I find that I have created this clean and tidy little world that I cannot unleash my inner mess.  I have made myself so outwardly numb to everything that I can barely find a trigger to my grief anymore.  Well...that's not true...I know my triggers and I avoid them like the plague.  I am afraid of them.

I want the pain.  I don't want the pain.  I want to unleash.  I don't want to unleash.  I am confused and I feel messy.  I don't like messy.

Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to all of you wonderful Fathers out there.

By now most of you know that there is NOT ONE iota of a doubt that I married one of the most amazing men out there who is not only an incredible husband but one of the BEST Fathers I have ever known.  ...A Dad who drops all things to play with his girls...and ENJOYS it.  A Dad who actually prefers to play with his children, in imagination land, than hang out with adults.  A Dad who will have a tea party and paint his daughter's toe nails.  A Dad who will memorize all the names of the My Little Ponies.  A Dad who will bring a dinosaur to life with an Australian accent.  A Dad who will mold play dough into a playground slide for rolling play dough balls down.  A Dad who will bring out the art supplies and paint with his daughter.  A Dad who will teach himself origami so that he can make paper flowers and dinosaurs for his Girl.  A Dad who will bake biscotti with his child.  A Dad who will confidently dress and fix hair for his daughter...even if he is color blind.  A Dad who will stay up for an hour in the middle of the night to hold, rock, and sway his newborn daughters.  A Dad who will rise early with his children and let his wife sleep in.  A Dad who will wash cloth diapers.  A Dad who will act as the doula for his laboring wife, who is delivering their babies at home.  A Dad who will work any job and sacrifice any dreams to provide for his family.  A Dad who will do anything to leave work early so that he can get home just to play with his daughter.  A Dad who will sleep on the floor next to his daughter's bed when she is sick or having a bad dream.  A Dad who will follow through with his words, be firm and consistent, discipline with Biblical standards and love while offering grace and compassion and comfort.  A Dad who loves his children with absolute all-out truly sincere selfless love...who knows and fully understands that choosing to have children means sacrificing yourself for the rest of your life...and wants it no other way.

...and this is just off the top of my head.

Here are some photos from last year's Father's Day ~

(Vienne is painting a travel mug for Daddy at a ceramic painting boutique)

(Vienne smiling her "say CHEESE" smile.  The mug is green with each of the girls' handprints on it, in blue. Around the top is says "Daddy is our dragon-tamer" and down the handle is says "<3 Vienne & Ivy)

(On Father's Day we took our first hike as a family of 4 at the Cooper Mountain Nature Park)

(family photo)

(Vienne thought it was so awesome to be able to ride in this even though she was way too old for it!  I mean who wouldn't love it?)

(a sweet video taken that evening at the dinner table)

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY MY BELOVED HUSBAND.

I love you "yesterday, today, and tomorrow too".

Thank you for ALL that you are as a husband and extraordinary Father to our precious beautiful girls.

Tired

I'm so tired lately.

Not so much physically...more emotionally and mentally.

I'm just so tired of grieving.  I'm tired of being sad.  I'm tired of every single thing in my life being tainted with a new heaviness.  I'm tired of my monotonous life.  I'm tired of trying to live in the past...doing everything we used to do, the same way we did it...desperately looking for Vienne around every corner only to find disappointment.  I'm tired of being angry with God.  But I'm also tired of feeling pressured and guilted into getting right with Him.  I'm tired of tears.  I'm tired of rehashing the same things over and over again in my head.  I'm tired of my response to "how are you?" is always the same.  I'm tired of the fact that my Girl is only a memory now...and constantly trying so hard to keep that memory alive.  I'm tired of trying to accommodate other people's discomfort with my pain.  I'm tired of the pain.

I need some change.

{Home Video}: New Pets

How about a home video?  I haven't posted one in a while.  This is a video I have been watching a lot, recently.

This was just a lazy Saturday morning activity.  Vienne's imagination was constantly in the works, of course.  In this video, she has determined that the animals on her lacing cards are pets and that we must all take them for a walk.  She is very particular about how we are to walk them.  Hhhmmm...I wonder where she got that "particular" nature??

I love this video because she talks right to me, while I'm holding the camera...she says "Mom". My breath catches in my throat when she comes close to the camera...her beautiful wispy golden hair sweeping across her face.  She is so stunning.

And, I must clarify that the reason I am being so lazy in this video is because I was pregnant with Ivy and stuck on the couch.  I am irritated with myself in this video, though, for sounding so unenthused to get involved and play.  Ugh.  There are quite a few videos that are taken from this angle/view...and it's all because I was on the couch a lot during that pregnancy.  I suffered from some severe hip pain during the latter half of my pregnancy with Ivy....so I enlisted Vienne to be my entertainment and I would record her!  haha  She was always such a good and patient sport.  I remember from this video, also, that we were refinishing our dining table so our dining area was without the table for a bit, leaving this large open space to play in.  Little memories.

I want her back.

Happy Birthday, Poppy, David, & Elliott!

Today, on June 2nd, 3 very significant people in my family share a birthday - My Dad, my Brother in law, and my niece.

Today is my Dad's 62nd birthday!  He has lovingly been referred to as "Poppy" since Vienne was born.  "Poppy" is what I called his dad, my grandpa, when I was little.  

Poppy and Vienne were always very close.  Poppy is the nature-loving Grandpa with fun imagination and creativity.  Poppy and Vienne shared a special "adventure" or "mission" together - They always talked about going on wild hunts for "Toothless" the dragon, up in the hills (from How to Train Your Dragon).  When he would visit, they would gather their swords and sometimes go on a little hunt-walk together, to try and scout Toothless out.  Again, the swords were never intended to harm (Vienne had no idea that that is what swords really did).  Swords were just the "paraphernalia" you carried when you hung out with dragons...right?! ;)

Dad, I love you and miss you!  You have always been a selfless and compassionate father to me.  I will never forget how you always put me and Katy first...for it has taught me to be a selfless parent to my girls.  I will always treasure the love you have for Vienne and will never forget how you told me that "little girls are magic".  Yes, Daddy, they are.  I love you.

Here are some sweet photos of Vienne and Poppy over the years~

(Poppy holding his very first grandchild when she was just born)

(stopping in to pay Poppy a visit when she was probably about 4 months old)

(sweet conversations between grandfather and granddaughter...I'm pretty sure he was smitten!)

(Thanksgiving 2008)

(Christmas 2008)

(Christmas 2009.  Vienne got some of her goofiness from Poppy!)

(a nature walk with Poppy and Dooba.  She didn't know Toothless at this age.  Dooba is the little wooden puppy that she is pulling.  When she was 2, Dooba came with us EVERYwhere!  "Dooba" was the first name she came up with on her own and Dooba was pulled around until his rope broke!)

(Christmas when she was 2 1/2)

(a tired girl snuggling with Poppy, getting to stay up late at Aunt Katy's birthday party)

(blurry action shot of balloon play on her 3rd birthday)

(fun in the snow, January 2012)

(eat the snowman!)

(always the happy little tomboy)

(me and my Daddy on my wedding day.  <3)

(Vienne is 2 and wishing Poppy a Happy Birthday.  How much do you love the way she says "love you" with her mouth full of water!!  Too much cuteness...ALL.  THE.  TIME!)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!  I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

XOXOXO

Today is Mark's brother, David's birthday!  David and his wife, Kinsey, have been some of our hugest supporters through our loss of Vienne.  Vienne was always so very special to them and she was the only local cousin that their daughter, Elliott, had...until Ivy.  David is such an incredible and compassionate brother to Mark and I feel so blessed to watch their relationship grow even closer, through our grief.  David and Kinsey are amazing parents and it is a treasure to share in the passion for parenting with them.

David, you are an incredible daddy to your precious daughter, a loving and supportive husband, a compassionate and thoughtful brother, and a fun and treasured uncle.  We love you.  

I don't have many photos of David with Vienne...but here are a few special ones I found ~

(David and Kinsey walking with Elliott and Vienne to a park last summer)

(Uncle David playing with Elliott and Ivy a few months ago)

(matchy matchy brothers...it's a thing they do.  ;))

(pretty awesome)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVID!!!  

WE LOVE YOU!!

Today is also my niece, Elliott Grace's 2nd birthday!  David was blessed with one of the BEST birthday gifts of all, 2 years ago - his daughter, Elliott.  Elliott and Vienne were very close cousins.  Vienne was in love with Elliott from the moment she was born!  Vienne LOVED babies and took it upon herself to always be the helper and nurturer to the babies around her.  During the visits we shared with Elliott over the year and a half that Vienne knew her, Vienne was always by Elliott's side wanting to help her and play with her.  Vienne always amazed us with her patience and tolerance for little ones.  

Elliott, you are a passionate and loving girl.  You are so bright and full of life.  I love watching your friendship grow with your little cousin, Ivy and I just know you two will be the best of friends.  I also treasure your full clinging hugs and the rare moments you stop to snuggle on my lap.  You are a gift, sweet girl!

Here are some sweet photos of these two precious little cousins ~

(meeting Elliott for the very first time - she was about 4 weeks old and Vienne had just turned 3)

(look at Vienne's neck!!  I LOVE her.  She is straining so hard to be still and careful!  This was the first time she ever got to hold a baby and she took the job VERY seriously.  And, that was ALL she wanted to do ALL day.  Seriously.)

(I think Elliott is about 8 months here and Vienne was a few months shy of 4 years.  Still just a baby, but Vienne was insistent upon playing with her.)

(exactly 1 year ago on Elliott's 1st Birthday.  You can tell how excited Vienne was to be there.  Always always always in love with her little cousin.)

(these last few photos were taken just a few weeks before Vienne left us.  This was the last time that Elliott got to play with her big girl cousin.  It was a very sweet and special time)

(check out these next photos...Vienne is always holding Elliott's hand, patiently walking beside her, caring for her.  Melts my heart.  This is EXACTLY who Vienne was.  May we ALL be such a friend as she was.)

(Elliott's face!!  Crack up!)

(one of my MOST favorites of all.  *tears*)

 
(my other most favorite of the two of them.  I think they are sharing secrets and promises.)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELLIOTT GRACE!!!
WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH, SWEET GIRL!!

Happy Birthday Jenna and Megan

Today we honor two special people on their birthdays.

Jenna celebrates her 15th birthday today!  I can't believe she is 15 already.  I have known Jenna for 11 years - since she was Vienne's age.  

Jenna holds a very special place in my heart as she used to be one of my students when I taught kindergarten all those years ago.  Jenna's Mom, Laurie, and I hit it off pretty quickly and we have remained friends ever since.  Once Jenna was old enough she became Vienne's first young fun teenage babysitter and they grew very close.  During the summers a few years ago, we would also pick Jenna up just to spend the day together.  It was ALWAYS something that Vienne got excited about - spending an entire day with a fun and cool "big girl"!

I will never forget seeing Jenna at Vienne's Memorial Service - she couldn't even talk to me because she was so overtaken with tears and we just held each other.  It touched this mama's broken heart so much.

It is such an incredible blessing to me that one of the little girls that I once taught is now old enough to help out with my own children.  Now, Jenna is Ivy's babysitter and we just know that they will be fast friends too.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENNA MAE!  

I love you, Sweetheart.  Thank you for loving my girls.

(this is the only pic I could find of myself and Jenna together - this was at my wedding almost 8 years ago.  Obviously a candid shot.  But, it was so special to me that Jenna and her mommy came to my wedding)

(These next few photos were taken on a summer day a few years ago.  I picked Jenna up and took the girls to a park to play.  Jenna and Vienne are "hiding" from me.  hehe)

(follow her wherever she goes - I LOVE Vienne's stride in this pic!)

(uh oh!)

(playing with the volleyball)

(teaching Vienne her mad skills - look at Vienne's arms ready to bump the ball!)

(classic Vienne - one of my utmost favorite photos.  Yes, I have a LOT of favorites.)

Today, we also remember and honor Megan's birthday.  Megan is my stepsister who passed away 7 years ago on July 21, 2006, shortly after her 21st birthday.  Today she would be 28.

I did not know Megan very well but her loss breaks my heart just the same.  

Isn't it curious that Vienne was born on the first day of May and Megan was born on the last?  Two girls in our family taken from us WAY too early.  Megan and Vienne now dance in Heaven together.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEGAN

(isn't she beautiful?)

(my stepfather, Tom, just put out this book about his story and the miracles that God has brought about on his grief journey.  Read it if you are interested!  It is such an incredible story and I guarantee it will touch your heart.  Megan's story is a very tragic one but it is amazing to see what God has done through it.  Tom's faith, teachable heart, and forgiveness have been an inspiration to us.)

Bringing Awareness to Myocarditis

I have been wanting to write a bit more on this highly unknown and commonly misunderstood infection called "Myocarditis".  This is the silent monster that suddenly and unexpectedly took our daughter's life without but a whisper of a warning (a slight fever).

Wikipedia defines Myocarditis like this:

Myocarditis or inflammatory cardiomyopathy is inflammation of heart muscle (myocardium).

Myocarditis is most often due to infection by common viruses, such as parvovirus B19, less commonly nonviral pathogens such as Borrelia burgdorferi (Lyme disease) or Trypanosoma cruzi, or as a hypersensitivity response to drugs.^[1]

The definition of myocarditis varies, but the central feature is an infection of the heart, with an inflammatory infiltrate, and damage to the heart muscle, withoutthe blockage of coronary arteries that define a heart attack (myocardial infarction) or other common noninfectious causes.^[2] Myocarditis may or may not include death (necrosis) of heart tissue. It may include dilated cardiomyopathy.^[1]

Myocarditis is often an autoimmune reaction. Streptococcal M protein and coxsackievirus B have regions (epitopes) that are immunologically similar to cardiacmyosin. During and after the viral infection, the immune system may attack cardiac myosin.^[1]

Because a definitive diagnosis requires a heart biopsy, which doctors are reluctant to do because they are invasive, statistics on the incidence of myocarditis vary widely.^[1]

The consequences of myocarditis thus also vary widely. It can cause a mild disease without any symptoms that resolves itself, or it may cause chest pain,heart failure, or sudden death. An acute myocardial infarction-like syndrome with normal coronary arteries has a good prognosis. Heart failure, even with dilated left ventricle, may have a good prognosis. Ventricular arrhythmias and high-degree heart block have a poor prognosis. Loss of right ventricular function is a strong predictor of death.^[1]

We just received a copy of the medical examiner's report on Vienne's case and autopsy.  I had requested it only because I wanted written confirmation of this myocarditis thing.  All we had known was what Mark had interpreted from a conversation with them over the phone, many months ago.  I wanted to make sure that he heard everything correctly.  What I DID NOT want was a play by play of the events of that day.  But, naive-little-me, not thinking clearly...that is exactly what we got.  And, like a moth drawn to a flame, I couldn't help but read it and keep reading it, page after gruesome page.  IT.  WAS.  HORRIBLE.  Why did I do this to myself???!!!  It was seriously one of the most STUPID things I have ever done...and yet, I couldn't stop.  As if I enjoy punishing myself further.  There were new things in the report that I didn't even know about...or remember.  Little details that the investigators and examiner look for and pick up on.  Things like:  my spilt smoothie all over the bathroom floor...of which I have NO recollection of.  The fact that they noted that my arms were free from scratches...as they were looking for the possibility that I had drowned her (read the tab at the top of the page to get the whole story of that day if you don't know it already).  The fact that they noted how well-kept Ivy was - clean and healthy and nicely dressed.  They noted Vienne's clean finger and toenails - neatly trimmed and painted with pale green nail polish.  ...That's enough.

Anyway, the point of bringing that up is because on the cause of death they wrote "ACCIDENT".  That's it.  Then, next to it they have a space that says:  "Significant Indicators/Factors:  Right Ventricle EPI/Myocarditis" (from what I've looked up, EPI = episode).  If you thoroughly read the definition above, the last sentence says "loss of right ventricular function is a strong predictor of death".  A few sentences before that it says "Heart failure, even with dilated left ventricle, may have a good prognosis."  Vienne's right ventricle was inflamed ("inflamed" was the word they used to describe it to Mark over the phone).  First, it of course pisses me off that the damn infection went to her right ventricle...the side that would more likely cause death.  And, secondly, it pisses me off that they still write "Accident" even after that documented fact about her Right ventricular myocarditis!  The ONLY reason they admitted to us for documenting it as an "Accident" is because she was found in the tub...EVEN though they revealed to us that she showed absolutely NO signs of drowning or struggling.  They cannot prove that it was just the myo that took her life.  I have shared this all before.  I try to ignore that word...Accident.  For "accident" says it's my fault.  I try.  I try.  I try to ignore it.

What I want to adamantly clarify in this post is that Vienne did NOT have a faulty heart that was just waiting to go into distress.  People around us still don't seem to understand this thing as we have just never heard of it before.  Myocarditis is an infection in the heart.  It is typically caused by viruses or bacteria or even some parasites.  But, most commonly it is caused by a virus (and not just one specific virus...there is a whole list of viruses that can take infection to the heart!).  The person catches a virus, like we ALL do especially in the winter months (ie: flu virus) and for no known reason, no predisposition, the virus can head straight to the heart and bring infection to it.  Just like a flu or cold can happen to anyone, so can this.  The influenza virus can even cause this...can take the infection to the heart.  Why?  There is not a known reason.  But, once the heart is attacked, this monster of an infection works QUICKLY.  Lightning speed quick.  Obviously, because we had NO CLUE.

Now there are cases of myocarditis all over the internet and I am becoming more and more familiar with it as I continue to read.  This infection does not always lead to death.  Many have survived it.  But, fighting it is tough and many have had to have heart transplants.  Some people, the lucky ones, get symptoms and signs that something serious is going wrong.  These symptoms can include:

The signs and symptoms associated with myocarditis are varied, and relate either to the actual inflammation of the myocardium, or the weakness of the heart muscle that is secondary to the inflammation. Signs and symptoms of myocarditis include:^[3]

• Chest pain (often described as "stabbing" in character)
• Congestive heart failure (leading to edema, breathlessness and hepatic congestion)
• Palpitations (due to arrhythmias)
• Sudden death (in young adults, myocarditis causes up to 20% of all cases of sudden death)^[4]
• Fever (especially when infectious, e.g. in rheumatic fever)
• Symptoms in infants and toddlers tend to be more nonspecific, with generalized malaise, poor appetite, abdominal pain, and/or chronic cough. Later stages of the illness will present with respiratory symptoms with increased work of breathing, and is often mistaken for asthma.

Since myocarditis is often due to a viral illness, many patients give a history of symptoms consistent with a recent viral infection, including fever, rash, diarrhea, joint pains, and easy fatigueability.

 I am now a member of a group on Facebook called the Myocarditis Foundation.  This is a group that is aiming to bring awareness to myocarditis, fund research, and provide online support to those who have lost loved ones or to those who suffer from this condition.  I have read MANY many sad stories.  The ones who have lost loved ones to this have been unexpected and sudden, just like Vienne.  From most of the stories of loss that I have read they at least had some ounce of a warning that led them to take their child or loved one to the hospital.  But, even in most stories like that, they still lost their loved one almost immediately after arriving at the hospital.  Typically, doctors do not know what is going on.  They think it's pneumonia or the flu so they don't react appropriately and then suddenly, without warning, the person's heart stops.  They don't discover the myocarditis until they perform the autopsy.  There was one story of a young boy named Logan who passed away and his passing was just as sudden and without warning as Vienne's.  He was playing in the living room with his sister; his mom went upstairs briefly to get their coats and shoes to go somewhere; when she returned downstairs, he was sitting slumped over his legs.  CPR and medics could not help.  He had JUST been to the doctor's for a regular check up just 2 days prior, with a clean bill of health!  Nothing detected.  But, when they performed the autopsy they discovered that his heart was inflamed 75% it's normal size!  (You can read his story here).  That is the only story I have found that is most similar to mine...everything seemed fine, we each momentarily left the room, and our children suddenly died in our absence.  :(

I have just learned of a local little girl, in Troutdale, OR, who is in the hospital right now fighting for her life because of myocarditis.  A friend of mine directed me to her FB page and I have been following the daily updates on her progress.  It is seeming that she is of the lucky ones who is given a chance to fight this...and it looks like she *might be* slowly winning.  Her name is Elliott.  Elliott's story is that she presented symptoms of vomiting...from what I gather, they were coming home from family trip.  She vomited for 3 days and they took her to the hospital on May 11, just a few weeks ago.  The doctors didn't know what was wrong with her, but one thing led to another and she stopped breathing and her heart stopped.  They worked on resuscitating her for 4 hours...keeping her alive.  They performed an echocardiogram and discovered the myocarditis...in her left ventricle.  Shortly thereafter, they determined that it was caused by the influenza virus.  From the snippets of things I've read, I have gathered that Elliott's heart, lungs, kidneys, and brain have all been severely affected.  She has been on ECMO (which I gather is life support?) this whole time.  Just the other day, they successfully took her off of it and her heart is performing at a normal rate!  They are now waiting for kidney improvement and brain function amongst several other things.  Her battle is definitely not over.  Scary crazy isn't it?  Please pray for this sweet family.  They are a family of believers and they have a battalion of prayer warriors standing by their side...and could always use more.

Of course I am jealous.  How could I not be!  I look at their story and think that they are going through this horror, yet also getting to watch God perform miracles and they will get to use this story as ministry to God's works for the rest of their lives.  God will use their story just as profoundly as He will use Vienne's...but they get to keep their child!  So, why didn't I??  I try and I try to find a reason and I don't know if I will ever ever come to settle on one...there will never be a reason to satisfy.  I realize that I may just have to swallow and just live with it.  It is a difficult thing to reconcile.

So....is there anything that can be done in regards to bringing awareness to myocarditis??  Slowly but surely, there are works in progress.  One small effort was recently made which sadly seemed to flop.  A family from the Myocarditis Foundation page created a petition to the American Heart Association, requesting that all pediatricians be required to test for Troponin levels in children who have been sick for 1-2 weeks or who arrive in the ER with respiratory or cardiac distress.  Troponin is a hormone that rises when the heart is in distress.  Raised levels can be detected with a simple blood test.  This test would not have helped Vienne in the least, of course...because we had absolutely no reason to bring her in to the doctor.  But, this is just a small step.  They have to start somewhere.  They were only allowed to request this test to be done on children sick for a week.  100, 000 signatures were required by May 31, 2013...and from what I recently checked, there were only 76!  I had posted this petition on my FB page and a few friends of mine signed it.  Kind of shocking to me to learn how few really care.  It is not for my child...she is already dead...it is for your children.  Wouldn't you want that peace of mind?  If this petition could get passed, the aim is to eventually be able to write more petitions that will require the testing sooner...especially as research continues on this horrible infection.  I would post the link to the petition but it has now unfortunately expired because it did not come even close to reaching it's requirements to get passed.  :(

In addition to becoming aware of the possibility of this silent unknown killer how can you stay alert to it, for yourself and especially for your children?  Well, obviously, from what I've shared and what I've experienced, unfortunately there is not much.  What I do NOT want is to create paranoia and panic for you for whenever your child develops a slight fever.  We could develop panic and paranoia for every time we get in our cars due to the high statistics of accidents...but we generally don't.  What I would say or encourage you to do is to just try to remain extra aware of your children when they are sick.  And, by that I mean ask specific questions.  Sometimes, I wonder if I had asked Vienne if anything hurt, whether she would have pointed to her chest or something?  She did tell me that her tummy hurt...but, maybe it was also her chest?  So, maybe when they are sick ask them a string of simple questions, with the aim to evaluate their overall discomfort.  And, if you have further suspicions take them to their doctor and perhaps even ask about the possibility of myocarditis and request a troponin test.

Here are some links to more information on Myocarditis if you are curious:

The Myocarditis Foundation Facebook page:  https://www.facebook.com/pages/Myocarditis-Foundation/314590715549?fref=ts  

The official Myocarditis Foundation site:  http://www.myocarditisfoundation.org

A blog dedicated to bringing awareness:  http://www.stacistephens.com/viralm.html

The Pray for Elliott FB page:  https://www.facebook.com/PrayForElliott?fref=ts