I'm so tired lately.
Not so much physically...more emotionally and mentally.
I'm just so tired of grieving. I'm tired of being sad. I'm tired of every single thing in my life being tainted with a new heaviness. I'm tired of my monotonous life. I'm tired of trying to live in the past...doing everything we used to do, the same way we did it...desperately looking for Vienne around every corner only to find disappointment. I'm tired of being angry with God. But I'm also tired of feeling pressured and guilted into getting right with Him. I'm tired of tears. I'm tired of rehashing the same things over and over again in my head. I'm tired of my response to "how are you?" is always the same. I'm tired of the fact that my Girl is only a memory now...and constantly trying so hard to keep that memory alive. I'm tired of trying to accommodate other people's discomfort with my pain. I'm tired of the pain.
I need some change.