Monday, December 24, 2012

Vienne's Last Christmas

I don't have much to write.  Today is Christmas Eve.  My first without my Vienne.  It is a hard day for us.  We do not have any plans today and are not spending any of the day with anyone.  It is difficult for us to know that everyone will be spending today with family, sharing lovely dinners, filling their stockings, setting plates out with cookies for Santa, going to bed with excitement for the next morning.  It is the first year in my entire life that I am trying to pretend that this is just another day.  I am not trying to evoke sympathy or pity....just writing out my thoughts and facts.  Instead of focusing on all of that, I just want to pour through pictures.
Here are glimpses of our last Christmas with Vienne, when she was 3 1/2.  We had a "Pajama Party Christmas Eve Dinner" at my sister and brother in law's house. Christmas day was spent at my Mom and Stepdad's house.  It was a laid back Christmas since both Katy and I were pregnant.

(dressed in her jammies for Christmas Eve dinner at Aunt Kate's and Uncle J's)

(perfect little ringlet pigtails)

(host and hostess in their awesome jammies)

(Vienne and T-Rex are patiently waiting for 'grow capsules' to dissolve and grow)

(the 3 girls - my sis, me, and Mom)

(playing with Daddy)

(Christmas morning at my mom's and stepdad's)

(Jeremy, Katy, and our stepbrother, Zac - loading their 'tater guns' on Christmas morning.  Stocking gifts get really goofy and fun in our family...I mean, don't they in all families?)

(shooting a potato gun at uncle Zac)

(Santa Grammy)

(swinging her cool new sword that made awesome noises...wearing her new Lightning McQueen slippers - love Mark's awkward head in this shot)

(cute apron from Grandma Lynn)

(easel from Grammy and Grandpa)

(opening the big gift - first, in the box, was a beautiful collection of antique dollhouse furniture inherited from Mark's great grandmother, I believe)

(oh, if you could see this furniture, it is just beautiful)


(the dollhouse we found to go with the inherited furniture pieces!)

(right to work, putting it all together)

(happy girl)

(all dressed for Christmas dinner...I remember I was just teaching her how to pose.  LOVE the hand on the hip)

(I couldn't get enough of her)

(how GORGEOUS is she?)


  1. She is beautiful! That doll house is amazing.

  2. Love it! And that dollhouse. How cool that Ivy will get to play with it too. Praying for you today!

  3. Beautiful Mommy and beautiful daughter. Wishing you much love and peace in your heart this time of year from Texas. Our thoughts and prayers will be with you daily.

  4. God bless you and your whole family tonight. There is an extra bright star shining for you.... -Jaimee

  5. There really aren't words. There aren't sweet sentiments to say that will make it better. It's Christmas and your girl isn't here. These pictures are beautiful, as always. I love her dress and the picture with her perfect ringlet pony tail. I'm so sorry this had to be your last Christmas sharing with her here together. There will be merrier Christmases (then this one) to come down the road, this we know. Nothing will ever be the same, but your little Ivy is thankfully a gift that continually gives you joy. I love you, I'm thinking of and praying for you and Mark today especially, and I'm sharing tears and heartache with you. Love you.

  6. Thanks for sharing these beautiful Christmas pics and memories of your lovely Vienne. I love the one with the sword and MacQueen slippers. What an amazing little girl. Much love.

  7. she is so beautiful..she radiates beauty.

  8. She is completely gorgeous. Love you guys so much. Praying daily for you. XOXOXOX

  9. I'm just sick over the fact we all got to hold our children close this Christmas and your arms were empty without your dear Vienne. Not fair at all. I so wish it were different for you. She is so very lovely in these pictures. XO

  10. My daughter...tears were my companion on Christmas heart is broken at the reality of this lonely time for you and Mark...this season that is generally wrapped in joy is so heavily shadowed with sorrow. My heart is in pieces, broken. As Lisa said, it is so sorrowful, the absence in your arms. Ivy is your joy and I am thankful, so thankful, for her...such a sweet spirit she is, a ray of sunshine in this dark season. Praying, ever praying....

  11. We are so thankful that we got to spend the day with you guys yesterday. I am so sorry that Christmas eve was riddled with loneliness and mourning for you. Looking through these pictures must have been such a torturous and bittersweet thing. Vienne's face as she opened the doll house is so perfect. She's ecstatic and it shows! This sweet dollhouse that now sits in our shop. It looks so somber and vacant... I hate it. I hate that Vienne isn't playing with it. I want her back for you... watching you guys interact with the boys last night was so bittersweet. They love you so, but it is just so weird that she isn't there. I kept looking for her for a split moment and then the sadness would sweep over me. I'm sure it was 100x more so for you guys. I picture her joyously opening heavenly gifts with other children at the feet of Jesus. I picture her peace and know that her face is filled with that bright shining ecstasy like it was when she opened her doll house. Praying for your hearts as they must feel so very dark these days...

  12. Jenny, I just found your blog. My husband suddenly passed away a month ago. Although I'm still waiting for the final autopsy report, myocarditis is the suspected cause of death at this point. He collapsed at home and an hour later I was saying good-bye to him in the ER. He was 42 years old. Just got through the first Christmas without him, and looking at your beautiful Vienne's pictures brought tears to my eyes. I share your grief . . .